I have read articles and seen stories on television about suicide taking the lives of people of various ages and affecting families and friends of many. The pain associated with this topic makes it extremely difficult to talk or think about, yet the need for prevention comes with the need for discussion.

I have had one personal experience with this tragedy, and having known the person I felt the guilt many others felt. Since I also knew the person had felt upset about life and expressed self-dissatisfaction to me, I of course felt slightly responsible, wondering whether I could have helped prevent the situation. After many tears and bouts of anger and confusion, my family and friends reassured me that mourning was okay, but guilt was unnecessary. Still, however, I felt that this topic deserved discussion and research to help inform others about what to do when a friend mentions something so serious and consequential.

How in the world does one help somebody who is thinking about suicide?

PsychologyToday.com highlights the fact that although someone may say things like “I hate my life” or “I cannot go on” rather than explicitly stating he or she feels suicidal, these phrases deserve immediate attention. The site recommends starting off by listening to them vent about whatever they feel and providing whatever comfort you can in that time of difficulty. Just being there and extinguishing their possible feelings of loneliness provides a good starting point.

The website also states the importance of supportiveness during the time and encourages friends to let the person know how much they value his or her life. At the same time, however, this support and love is the most important and one of the only things a friend can do. The site notes that one cannot try to act as a clinician and diagnose the issue, even though that person may need such attention. In such a necessary situation, experts encourage one to call upon an actual professional.

KidsHealth.org reinforces the idea that one should always tell an adult when learning about a person dealing with suicidal thoughts. Regardless of his or her pleas, especially “don’t tell anyone,” that person’s life is in danger, and a trusted adult should know how to handle this difficult situation. As a teenager, it is extremely difficult to know exactly what to do or how to handle it alone anyways; the site emphasizes telling an adult or calling the suicide crisis line 1-800-SUICIDE. This person can seek help for his or her issues and have somebody professional to talk to, aiding in their road to recovery, as the website states.

Feelings of guilt when a suicide occurs also affect the lives of their friends and family. Kidshealth.org explains the thought proccess of many: “What could I have done differently?” “How could I have interpreted his or her words better?” The site encourages discussing these feelings with trusted friends and family, as one needs the support of loved ones in a time of grief. When these feelings of sadness about the death begin affecting one’s daily life for a prolonged period of time, help from a professional is especially necessary.

You can help a friend feel a little less lonely through your love and support, but you cannot single-handedly help their suicidal thoughts go away. Always talk to someone; get that person the necessary help to keep living.