Soon after he graduated from Revere High School, Jake Totten sat in his hospital bed crying, thinking that he was going to die. He had just been diagnosed with leukemia. After he had been sitting in his bed, contemplating his future, he realized that feeling sorry for himself was a waste of time. He decided to look at his upcoming challenges with a positive attitude. He compared his life to a lacrosse game, saying that he was in the first quarter and he needed to have fun with it.

Lacrosse player, coach, and cancer survivor are all words to describe Jake Totten. After he graduated from Revere High School in 2013, Totten had a promising outlook on life. He was going to play lacrosse at Baldwin Wallace University, and eventually go into the Marine Corps. These dreams, however, were sidelined when he was diagnosed with his disease.

His mother Stacy Totten explained how she and her family felt when they received the news that Totten was diagnosed with leukemia. She explained how they were all shocked by the unfortunate news, and how they reacted immediately.

“Once we got over the shock we thought, ‘What do we do from here?’ ‘How do we handle this?’ ‘What do we think about this?’ ‘What do we do?’ I guess the main thing I went and am still going through, since [he is] still going through chemotherapy: [do not] read too much on the Internet, stick with your team of doctors and believe in them, and believe in what they say. Problems are going to come up, and that’s the time to research more. [It is] best not to know the odds,” Stacy said.

Totten explained that his brother Mackey is his greatest influence and how he helped him through his crucible.

“The amount of things that [Mackey] did for me, like selling bandanas and all of that stuff, and I look up to him, and he looks up to me. We kind of feed off of each other. The reasons he wants to go into the military are because of me, and I want to go in because of him. He was always a person that I could talk to, even when I [could not] talk to my parents,” Totten said.

Soon after he was diagnosed, Totten began chemotherapy. He said that having cancer changed him, but he could not let it change him too much. Every Monday, Totten would go to chemotherapy. When he was not at the hospital, he had to take almost 30 pills every day. Throughout his treatment, he tried his best to keep going with his life as normal.

“During treatment, Netflix was my best friend, [and] I always tried to make myself get up at a normal time, and have a routine to my day. I would always try to make breakfast, talk to my brother before he left for school, talk to my parents. I always went out on a daily outing, even if it was just somewhere like the car wash, just so I got out, and talked to people still, even when I felt bad. Then when I got home I slept, played video games, and walked my dog. My mom [also] gave me little chores to do, like put together chairs. [There were] always little things to do around the house,” Totten said.

As Totten was going through his treatment, his mother would always support him the best way that she could, even when it was difficult for her.

“I had to continue to be the parent that I thought that I [should be]. There were times when I had to not say what I was thinking or feeling and remain upbeat, because we didn’t know what the future might hold,” Stacy said.

Stacy also explained how she believes that leukemia has affected her son. She said that Totten now looks at the world in a different and more positive way. He does, however, occasionally question ‘Why?’ but he feels that cancer has made him a more caring person who wants to help people now more than ever.

Totten added how leukemia has changed him personally. He said that the disease forced him to grow up faster than he normally would have. He also appreciates the little things in life more. Totten expressed that his sense of time has been adjusted; he lives in the moment more now, avoids thinking about the future too much and does not dwell in the past.

Totten explained that staying positive is the hardest part of having cancer.

“I hated having people feel bad for me, and people seeing me in a lowered state. I always tried to have a smile on my face. I always wanted people to think that [I was] fine, even when I was feeling really bad,” Totten said.

When Totten was forced to take a year off from school, he was given the opportunity to coach lacrosse at Revere High School. This proved to be one of the most memorable things that he had ever done.

“Being able to coach lacrosse in high school was really fun, and it got my mind off of everything. I loved helping out and coaching, being around the guys and stuff like that, being around the team again, because when I was in high school I had a team all the time,” Totten said.

As Totten continues to battle adversity, he looks to the future with hope. Stacy described how she supported her son through his struggles.

“What I had to keep reaching for, what I do feel in the end will be that everything will be okay. . . . I truly feel that everything happens for a reason, but you might not realize until years and years away why something happened, but then you understand that it does turn out okay,” Stacy said.

Totten has been in remission for almost two years now. Since then, he’s gone back to school and started playing lacrosse again. Occasionally he goes to the pediatric oncology wing at the hospital, where he helps kids in the hospital get through their experiences with cancer.

Totten voiced his love for Baldwin Wallace and the life that he has there. His favorite parts of his school are the very small size, and the fact that it “is not a party school.” He also said that he enjoys the people at Baldwin Wallace. As much as he adores his school, he was surprised by the amount of work that he has to do outside of class.

As part of his return to normalcy, Jake was able to rejoin the Baldwin Wallace Lacrosse team. He described what it is like to play in college; the gameplay and environment is very different than high school. He said that the games are much faster pace, and everyone wants to be on the field at all times. This mindset translates to practices where everyone wants to get better and everyone is always competing, fighting for a starting spot. Even in the offseason his team competes within itself in a fun way. They are currently playing in an offseason league with two Baldwin Wallace teams. Each team is trying to score as many points as possible, and the winning team will get a steak dinner at the expense of the losing team.

When not working with his team, Totten works on his own to improve himself.

“[I] workout a lot, lift weights [and] swim. [I] swim a ton, especially because of my knee. My summer job [at HMH Restoration] was a lot of hard work, so it helped me stay in shape. I also play summer league as well, in Burning River [Lacrosse] and Greater Cleveland [Lacrosse]. I also went to [Parisi Speed School in Independence] to get faster and work on footwork,” Totten said.

Phil Heyn, Totten’s former football coach at Revere, described Totten’s best qualities as an athlete.

“[Totten is] a person who can persevere and make the best out of any situation. [The best aspects of Totten’s game are his] work ethic, love for teammates, [and] love for his family,” Heyn said.

Totten hopes that his team will continue its success from last season and go on to win their conference.

“[We will do] really well. [We are] still young; we only have 4 seniors this year. The rest are sophomores and juniors, then a lot of freshman who came into the school; a lot of kids from Buffalo, a Division I transfer, [and] one from a [Division II] or [Division III] school. Overall I think that [we are] going to win the [Ohio Athletic Conference], and then I think [we will] make a run in the NCAA tournament this year, [winning] a couple games at least,” Totten said.

Since going back to school Totten has been hard at work. He is currently majoring in criminal justice because he has always wanted to help others. After graduating from Baldwin Wallace he hopes to use this degree to help him in the United States Marine Corps. Since he must be five years into remission to join the armed forces, Totten will go into Officer Candidate School after his time at Baldwin Wallace. As Totten looks to the future with hope, he explained his mantra is living life to its fullest while having fun with his gift, because to him anything can happen tomorrow.