Only one thing was accomplished from the writing of this column: proof of how much I do not understand sports.

I never realized this until I sat and pondered, “What in the world am I supposed to write about?” and every single topic that popped in my head was negative. I just realized that sports are extremely confusing and contain elements that only players and sports enthusiasts (I am neither of those) could understand.

First of all, I am confused by wrestlers who are cutting weight. Making a picture of a meat lovers pizza or a huge plate of nachos your computer screensaver . . . as you are starving to “curb your hunger”? How is that supposed to make you not hungry?!

Second, why are the seasons in professional sports so long? Baseball begins in March but does not end until October, and as baseball’s ending in October, basketball begins but does not end until June. And then all the while, football is being played from August until February. By the time October hits, who even wants to watch baseball anymore? The cold fall begs for hot cocoa and football . . . not hot dogs and iced tea in a cold stadium. And I do not want to even imagine how blazing hot and sweaty the Quicken Loans Arena (well, when the Cavaliers made it to the playoffs) is for basketball playoffs in June. Everyone’s sweat meshing together? Thanks, but no thanks.

And why do some boys complain so much about the WNBA? Have they ever watched a WNBA game? I am not a huge fan; however, I recognize the dedication and that those women must be phenomenal players if they can make it to that level. Ben York, writer for PhoenixMercury.com, explained how men often note that WNBA players are “good, but good for women.” I recommend you watch a WNBA and NBA game simultaneously and realize they are exactly the same.

Also, why do cheerleaders give their athletes chocolate, cookies, Taco Bell and McDonald’s before a game? I mean, it’s a really nice gesture and chocolate pumps me up, too. But eating McDonald’s before a football game might just make me throw up . . . on the field . . . during the game. Maybe we should start commending our football and basketball players for their tough stomachs much more often.

And why do baseball players wear tight pants? I am extremely curious as to how extremely tight pants help you play the game. And we girls are made fun of for considering leggings as pants. . . . but boys can run around the field in basically the same clothes? And then in basketball, the players wear extremely baggy pants. I am not a basketball player, but I could only imagine those pants would hinder your performance.

And lastly, what even is lacrosse? You run around a field with sticks and a ball flies around everywhere. I have been to a few games, and it looks fun . . . because you get to hit people with your lacrosse stick. You also get to be known as a “LAX bro,” which actually is pretty cool.

Although there is so much I do not get about the world of sports, what I surprisingly do understand is the devotion players put into their sports. Student and professional athletes dedicate hours upon hours per week trying to manage practice, matches, school, work and a social life. I guess I just do not really know how to compare that with my life because experience in sports is something I lack. I bid my farewell, page sixteen. I have proven that page three is where I truly belong.